Why Generosity Isn’t a Mystery

If you’ve been in the nonprofit world long enough, you’ve probably had moments where fundraising feels… confusing. One campaign soars, another one limps. A donor you were sure would give doesn’t. A quiet supporter surprises you with a major gift. You tweak your messaging, upgrade your CRM, try another appeal strategy,  but the question still nags:

What actually motivates someone to give?

In this week’s episode of Your Path to Nonprofit Leadership, we explore the science behind generosity with global philanthropy expert Cherian Koshy. And if there’s one idea every nonprofit leader should walk away with, it’s this:

Generosity isn’t random, and it’s not purely emotional.
It’s shaped by the environment we create.

When leaders stop guessing and start designing for human behavior, fundraising becomes less of an uphill battle and more of an invitation people are ready to accept.

Here are some of the big ideas that emerged, ones worth carrying into your next campaign, conversation, or strategic planning session.

1. Donors Rarely Say “No”,  They Say “Not Now.”

Every fundraiser knows the sting of a declined ask. But here’s the surprising thing: most of the time, it’s not rejection at all.

It’s timing.

People’s generosity doesn’t disappear between campaigns. Their circumstances shift, their mental load expands, their priorities shuffle. When leaders interpret a “not now” as “never,” they pull back at precisely the wrong moment.

What if we assumed generosity was still there, just waiting for the right prompt, the right moment, or the right clarity?

That mindset alone could change how you reconnect with lapsed donors, steward warm leads, or craft follow-up messaging.

2. Your Biggest Fundraising Barrier Might Be… Friction

Nonprofit leaders often blame outcomes on messaging, list quality, or donor fatigue. But Cherian points out something more subtle and far more fixable:

Are you asking donors to work too hard to be generous?

Friction can be tiny:

• A confusing donation form

• Too many steps

• A vague call to action

• Overexplaining your need

• Making donors hunt for the “why”

And yet each tiny obstacle chips away at the impulse to give.

Fundraising isn’t about hyping up emotion, it's about removing the obstacles that interrupt generosity.

3. People Give to Affirm Who They Believe They Are

Identity drives behavior far more powerfully than persuasion.

Donors aren’t thinking,
“Do I want to give to this?”

They’re thinking,
“Is this something people like me do?”

Nonprofit leaders who understand donor identity create messaging that feels like a mirror:

“You’re the kind of person who shows up in hard moments.”
“People like you make sure no family falls through the cracks.”
“Your generosity creates the community you believe in.”

When fundraising aligns with identity, the “yes” feels natural,  not pressured.

4. Authenticity Isn’t Optional Anymore

We live in an age of hyper-awareness, and  donors can sense inauthenticity instantly. They know when they’re being nudged, guilted, oversold, or given a story crafted for emotional manipulation.

What they respond to now is remarkably simple:

• Clear language

• Honest needs

• Transparency about impact

• A human voice

• A relationship, not a transaction

Your donors aren’t looking for perfect.
They’re looking for real.

5. Generosity Thrives When Leaders Communicate Like Humans, Not Fundraisers

One of the biggest takeaways from Cherian’s expertise is that the best fundraising communication doesn’t try to sound “fundraisery” at all.

Instead, think:

• Fewer buzzwords

• More everyday language

• Fewer statistics

• More meaning

• Fewer big emotional swings

• More calm confidence

A good rule of thumb:
If you wouldn’t say it in conversation, don’t say it in your appeal.

6. The Philanthropic Landscape Isn’t Getting Louder,  It’s Getting Noisier

It’s not that donors are tired of giving. It’s that they’re overwhelmed.

Notifications. Emails. Social platforms. Competing causes. Mental load.
Your appeal might be competing with everything from a dentist reminder to a political text blast.

Leaders can’t out-shout the noise, but they can rise above it by focusing on what noise can’t imitate:

Consistency.
Clarity.
Trust.
Relevance.
Authentic connection.

Those are your real differentiators,  not urgency copy or clever slogans.

7. The Future of Fundraising Belongs to Leaders Who Learn the Science

Fundraising is no longer guesswork. Behavioral science, neuroscience, and identity theory are reshaping how generosity is understood.

Leaders who embrace this don’t just raise more money;  they build longer-lasting donor relationships and healthier organizational cultures.

They ask:

• What barriers can we remove?

• What choices can we simplify?

• What donor identities can we reflect back?

• How do we reduce cognitive load?

• How can we make generosity feel easier, more joyful, and more aligned?

These aren’t marketing questions.
They’re design questions.

And design is very much within a nonprofit leader’s control.

Final Thought: Generosity Isn’t Something You Chase,  It’s Something You Cultivate

The most successful nonprofit leaders don’t try to convince donors to care.
They create environments where generosity feels natural, intuitive, and aligned with who donors already believe they are.

And when you approach fundraising with curiosity instead of pressure,  trust instead of tactics,  your donors feel it.

The generosity was always there.
Your job is to make room for it.

Leave us a comment below! We would love to hear from you!